Compassion plays a critical role in guiding our children. Setting (and sticking to!) a firm boundary and offering our child compassion in the middle of a meltdown are not mutually exclusive. Holding both the boundary and the compassion can feel like a tight rope walk. However, striking this balance is not only achievable, but also highly effective. Come learn how this can help your family dynamic. Contact me here.
Did you know that the amygdala, hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex positively change as a result of practicing mindfulness on a regular basis?
Narratives are the stories we tell ourselves about an experience we are having. Narratives layer our experience and often cause us undue suffering. What are your narratives?
Make it stop!
What parent hasn’t had that thought in the midst of dealing with an annoying or difficult behavior? Right? You know those moments when you are sweating and feel all eyes on you? Or you are at home and you just don’t think you can handle one more whiny voice? I can’t be the only one.
Here’s the deal. There are lots of ways to make the behavior stop in the moment, so choose carefully! You want to respond in a way that makes the behavior stop in the future.
But this is not a one size fits all kind of choice. It depends on who your child is and the circumstances of the situation.
Interested in starting your Triple P journey with me? Contact me!
I get this question a lot.
Mindfulness as defined here, is the practice of being in (and returning to) the present moment, no matter what internal or external distractions arise.
So, by that definition, mindfulness can be practiced any time of day. I can be mindful while I am shopping at Market Basket, walking the dog, and eating my dinner. I can be mindful right now as I notice how it feels to be making contact with the chair I am in and I feel my fingers strike the keys on my laptop as I type this sentence.
Then, what is meditation? For me, meditation is the formal practice I have – which then increases my capacity to be mindful throughout the day. I have a daily sitting practice and I usually close my eyes. But you can do a walking meditation, a seeing meditation, or a listening meditation too. It is really just a more formal time to practice being mindful.
And guess what? I love bringing mindfulness into people’s lives. A new online offering is coming soon. Stay tuned!
Are you wondering why your kids keep begging for the same thing over and over again? Do you wish it didn’t take 8,452 times of asking before your child finally kind of does the thing your asking them to do?
Maybe you are giving them accidental rewards. These are so easy to give without even realizing it! In short, accidental rewards are things we give our child that stop the behavior in the moment, but end up reinforcing the behavior in the future. They come in the form of poorly timed attention, affection, or tangible rewards.
Find out more about what these are, how to stop giving them and how your home life can change. Your family is worth it. Contact me here.
Wondering what Triple P is? Start here.
How do you know if Triple P is for you? Keep in mind that we have all (ALL!) experienced the following at various times with our children, but if any of these is more common than not, then you may benefit from the Triple P program:
- Your child does not follow your directions.
- You find yourself avoiding taking your child shopping or to restaurants because of his/her behavior in public.
- Despite your efforts, none of the consequences you give to your child seem to change his/her behavior.
- Your child talks back to you.
- Your child whines, tantrums, or becomes physical if he/she does not get his/her way.
I no longer like to think of the New Year as a time to set resolutions. The word resolution holds too much pressure for me. In years past, I would be drawn in by the lure of a resolution. It felt good to my black and white, obsessive mind to make a promise that I had to keep from now until, well, forever. Every year I would be energized by the thought of a blank slate of my life (as if that ever existed). I would fantasize about how this year would be different.
Starting now I will exercise three times a week.
Starting now I won’t go to bed any later than 10 pm.
Starting now I will only have one cup of coffee a day.
This just doesn’t work for me. It really never did.
I have learned through years of studying mindfulness, that in order to feel happiness I actually don’t need to achieve anything. This whole concept deserves its own blog post. So, let me leave it at this:
The New Year now means taking stock. I spend time reflecting on where I’ve been and where I’d like to go. In what ways can I edge closer to living in alignment with my values? In what ways can I gently increase my mindfulness? I don’t end up picking concrete actions to hold fast. Instead, I try to become aware of my intentions and then live those mindfully.
Mindfulness has set this obsessive mind of mine on a path towards freedom and true happiness. I am so grateful. Happy New Year!
Offering Triple P is so rewarding. I can’t easily describe the feeling I get when I watch a family learn how to bring more calm into their home. Here is what one client has to say:
“Hiring Theresa for Triple P was the best decision I made for our family. I dragged my feet for months after meeting Theresa at a workshop she presented. I immediately connected with Theresa and her approach to parenting, but paying someone to tell me how to be a parent felt weird. I had always wanted to be a mother, they were my kids, I should know what to do. But, I was wrong and our family dynamic was crumbling and our lives were spiraling downward. I finally contacted Theresa and I cannot truly describe how important and positive this decision was for our family. Theresa has such a unique and powerful viewpoint of children and our relationship with our children. She gave incredible insight into issues and problems and provided concrete, positive, and realistic solutions. The whole process brought our family closer and happier – exactly what we hoped for! Theresa is worth every penny you will spend going on this parenting overhaul journey with her!”
One of the ways to anchor to the present moment is through our bodies. A quick and easy practice is to raise your arm up and back down again in slow motion. While you do it, pay attention to the sensations you feel. Really notice all that you can. The whole exercise might take 60 seconds. What did you notice? Tingling? Pulling? Heaviness? Warmth? As your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to the sensations in your arm.
Ok, now seriously… try it! Then ask yourself: What would it be like to be more present in my body throughout the day?