My philosophy is that our children do not belong to us, we are merely their guide. Our role is to embrace who they are and help them to fully express that to the world. Every character trait brings strengths and weaknesses. These strengths and weaknesses are all to be accepted and not used as evidence for our children’s “goodness” or “badness”. Our children are enough, just as themselves. That being said, there are some good and bad choices as well as a bottom line of acceptable behavior that I believe we need to consistently guide them towards. There is a fine balance between letting them be who they are and helping them to respect authority and societal norms.
Some days, my philosophy is just that: a philosophy. Because when my husband is traveling and the dog is sick and one is whining and the others are fighting and the dishes are multiplying by the second, it can be hard to operate from that core belief. I definitely get frustrated. I yell sometimes. There are days that I’m not as engaged with them as I’d like. I have insecurities about my own parenting. I have learned to lean on and trust my village.
When I am grounded and centered, I am able to fully practice what I believe. And so, I have developed my own village of people (and self care activities) to help ground me and support me in my parenting, the hardest, yet most rewarding job I’ve ever had.
On Parenting and Education
We, as parents, are the only consistent educators our children will have. Many teachers will move in and out of their lives, but we are their constant. It is easy to think that our children’s education is as good as the teacher our child has that year. But research shows that it is our attitudes toward education, our behavior management, and the expectations we set for our kids that are correlated with our children’s academic and behavioral success in school.
“Research on family engagement repeatedly correlates family engagement with student achievement and is discovering more precisely what it is that families do that promotes learning and school success. Sustained family engagement in children’s learning is linked with higher grades and test scores, motivation to achieve, social competence, and aspiration for and enrollment in college.” (Weiss, Buffard, Bridgall, & Gordon, 2009).
Having now been on both sides of the parent/educator equation, I want to help other parents to guide their kids through the schooling process. I want to be a part of your village.