How do you know if Triple P is for you? Keep in mind that we have all (ALL!) experienced the following at various times with our children, but if any of these is more common than not, then you may benefit from the Triple P program:
- Your child does not follow your directions.
- You find yourself avoiding taking your child shopping or to restaurants because of his/her behavior in public.
- Despite your efforts, none of the consequences you give to your child seem to change his/her behavior.
- Your child talks back to you.
- Your child whines, tantrums, or becomes physical if he/she does not get his/her way.
Reach out. Your family is worth the investment! In person or virtually – distance is not an issue. Contact me here.
I no longer like to think of the New Year as a time to set resolutions. The word resolution holds too much pressure for me. In years past, I would be drawn in by the lure of a resolution. It felt good to my black and white, obsessive mind to make a promise that I had to keep from now until, well, forever. Every year I would be energized by the thought of a blank slate of my life (as if that ever existed). I would fantasize about how this year would be different.
Starting now I will exercise three times a week.
Starting now I won’t go to bed any later than 10 pm.
Starting now I will only have one cup of coffee a day.
This just doesn’t work for me. It really never did.
I have learned through years of studying mindfulness, that in order to feel happiness I actually don’t need to achieve anything. This whole concept deserves its own blog post. So, let me leave it at this:
The New Year now means taking stock. I spend time reflecting on where I’ve been and where I’d like to go. In what ways can I edge closer to living in alignment with my values? In what ways can I gently increase my mindfulness? I don’t end up picking concrete actions to hold fast. Instead, I try to become aware of my intentions and then live those mindfully.
Mindfulness has set this obsessive mind of mine on a path towards freedom and true happiness. I am so grateful. Happy New Year!
Offering Triple P is so rewarding. I can’t easily describe the feeling I get when I watch a family learn how to bring more calm into their home. Here is what one client has to say:
“Hiring Theresa for Triple P was the best decision I made for our family. I dragged my feet for months after meeting Theresa at a workshop she presented. I immediately connected with Theresa and her approach to parenting, but paying someone to tell me how to be a parent felt weird. I had always wanted to be a mother, they were my kids, I should know what to do. But, I was wrong and our family dynamic was crumbling and our lives were spiraling downward. I finally contacted Theresa and I cannot truly describe how important and positive this decision was for our family. Theresa has such a unique and powerful viewpoint of children and our relationship with our children. She gave incredible insight into issues and problems and provided concrete, positive, and realistic solutions. The whole process brought our family closer and happier – exactly what we hoped for! Theresa is worth every penny you will spend going on this parenting overhaul journey with her!”
One of the ways to anchor to the present moment is through our bodies. A quick and easy practice is to raise your arm up and back down again in slow motion. While you do it, pay attention to the sensations you feel. Really notice all that you can. The whole exercise might take 60 seconds. What did you notice? Tingling? Pulling? Heaviness? Warmth? As your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to the sensations in your arm.
Ok, now seriously… try it! Then ask yourself: What would it be like to be more present in my body throughout the day?
Do you feel pressure when you hear that you should be spending Quality Time with your kids? We often think that Quality Time means a day long adventure complete with a picnic lunch. Those kind of quality time days can be fun and nice, but aren’t always realistic.
Your kids do need Quality Time from you every day. But are you ready for the good news? Quality Time is defined by Triple P as small doses of quality interactions that are 30 seconds to 2 minutes long. That’s it!
Let me explain. When your child approaches you with a question or something to show you, pause what you are doing. Get on her level. Look her in the eye. Engage with her about whatever she is showing you or asking you. Give a compliment. Ask a follow up question.
I need to remind myself of this strategy very often. Let’s face it – life is busy. I feel like I am constantly trying to get the next thing done. If left to my own devices, I find myself half-listening to my child because I am finishing an email, or checking my phone, or folding laundry. When I remember to spend these small doses of Quality Time with my child, we are both boosted by the connection.
Try it. Watch your child’s face light up because they have all of you in that moment.
Interested in Triple P? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Today I presented “Mindfulness for Educators” to the North Reading School District’s paraprofessionals. Key takeaways:
- Learning mindfulness is not an intellectual exercise.
- Stay curious when encountering annoying behaviors.
- Mindfulness in conversation is not necessarily easy, but can improve any interaction.
Affection is so important to show our kids. But, what kind of affection does your child prefer? Some kids would much rather have their hair tousled and a high five than a close, tight hug. Other kids love close, tight hugs – but not in public. Read your child’s verbal and nonverbal cues as to what they prefer and make a point of providing that every day. Directly asking your child what they prefer and when is also a good lesson in teaching consent and the power of his/her voice. Note: be careful that you don’t use affection as a way to distract from misbehavior. This will become an accidental reward. (More to follow on accidental rewards!)
Want more information on Triple P and how it works? Email: email@example.com
Our breath is always there – ready to bring us to the present moment. Take three deep breaths and see if you can notice where you notice your breath the most. Your belly? Chest? Throat? Nostrils? Let that be your anchor spot – to return to again and again – anytime you need it.
I’ve been absent from Social Media for the last week, because I’ve been busy getting ready to launch something new. (Don’t worry – Village Parenting is still going strong!) While it is separate from my work in Village Parenting, it is based on the same ideals: Connecting through authenticity.
I have been a member of Speaker Sisterhood for several months and am now very excited to be launching my own club in Reading, MA!
Here’s what to expect: A group of women seeking to boost public speaking skills in a safe and fun environment. Members end up discovering more about themselves through storytelling and public speaking, all while connecting with other supportive women.
Here are the details:
Launch Party/First Meeting: October 22nd
Where: Tin Bucket in Reading – 12 Woburn St.
We will meet every other Monday. Rsvp to firstname.lastname@example.org
**First Meeting is Free!**
Go to http://www.speakersisterhood.com for more information about the Speaker Sisterhood organization
P.S. This does not mean that our expectations will be some kind of magic bullet. However, if our kids clearly know what we expect, this will help them to reach their potential!
P.P.S I highly recommend centering our expectations on behavior and effort, not particular grades!