My Open Secret

Rumi, a poet born in 1207, refers to what he calls the Open Secret in a lot of his writing. My understanding of this Open Secret is that we are all walking around feeling vulnerable, with a fear of how we are inadequate, and we work really, really hard to keep that a secret. But! The open part of this “secret” is that we all have the same secret. We are all walking around fearing the same thing! It is in being open about our own fears where true connection with others happens. No longer are we left wondering how everyone else has it so together. Rather, we realize that we are not alone in our experience of being human. I first read about the Open Secret in the book Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser. I can’t recommend this book enough! An excerpt from her book on the Open Secret can be found by clicking here. (and can I just add that I love that Rumi is from the 13 century?? It reassures me that this Open Secret is very much a universal and timeless truth.)

The reason I mention this Open Secret is because I think this is so very present in parenting. It is easy to feel alone and inadequate at this job. Pinterest, Facebook, and Our Internal Voices can incessantly tell us that everyone else has it together. Village Parenting is about remembering that we are not alone and we are not inadequate. We all have great moments, messy moments, and everything in between. And we need each other. No one can do this alone. It truly does take a village.

My workshops, my consultations and this blog are places to share your insecurities and hear someone else say, Me too. At workshops (or Village Parenting Circles) we give space to our ideas, our struggles, and our successes. The most powerful moments are when people share what is difficult. A nurturing space is developed and people go there (if they choose to) and it is honored by others and it is beautiful. During a workshop, after listening to others and doing my own sharing, I am somehow reinvigorated to tackle the job of parenting my own kids. With this blog, my hope is to create an online version of that space. Not quite the same as in person, but special nonetheless.

Ask questions. Share your messy moments, your victories, and your ideas. The only rule is that you do so in a kind way that honors the Open Secret we all share.